The yang to my yin
Has gone and done it again
Left my heart broken and bruised

Took me out swimming
And left me to drown
In tears, blood, sweat and booze

She can quote all the talking heads
She only listens to NPR
She’ll get talking religion and politics
After three martinis
At her favorite bar

She’s into transcendental meditation
The proletariat’s revolution
And Dutch chocolate ice cream
She has a big ass and a brain
Beneath a red head
This girl is my wet dream

She digs Palahniuk, Heinlein
And HST
But she sure as shit don’t dig me
Makes it rather unfortunate
That she is the yang to my yin

Standing alone in a crowded room
I can’t help but think
About what could have, should have
Will and may be

Would I be here now
Had a few choice moments
Turned out not the same?
Is this my destiny?
Am I meant to be here, now?

Or have I parted ways with
Fate at some fork in the road?

Had a different set of circumstances
Manifested itself within me
Would I be in the same place?

Should I have been one of those
Banana Republic wearing
Escalade driving
Boys spending daddy’s money
While drinking myself into oblivion
With my carbon copy frat brothers?

Or should I have been
More suitable as one of those
Asshole types infesting
Every locker room and gym
Across the nation
Those guys who get
The girls by being soulless, vain
And covered in the right colored cloth
Was that my destiny?

Am I destined to be
The spark that lights the fire
Burning toward the box of powder
That will make the explosion
To set things right?
Or am I simply deluding myself?

Or am I merely fated into being
Another slave to the grind
Some working stiff with
A job-type-job I go to
To get away from my family
With a beer fridge at home
To escape the agony of my job?

Will the next decision I make
Throw me onto a new path
To another lonely end?

They say actions speak louder than words
Ant that look in your eye is
Screaming at me
While the hands on my face
Whisper innocently in my ear

I keep thinking about that
Biz Markey song as my
Hands caress that silky smooth skin
Soon those luscious lips turn
“Just a Friend” to “Say Goodbye”
And I think to myself
“Just for tonight”

Sweat drips, pulses pound
For a moment I forget where I am
And get lost in the candlelight

The only sounds spoken
Are pants and moans
And the rhythm of
“More Human Than Human”
Pounds in my skull
And drives this thing forward

Then you roll over and fall asleep
And I whisper the only three words
I can’t mutter while you are awake

So just maybe in another life
I would have been your lover
On a different day, I might just be a friend
But as soon as last night became this morning
I knew that I am just another man

I am just another man
And I’m trying my damndest
To be better than the man before
But I know that look
And you know this feeling
Something’s going on that can’t be ignored

It started with a sip and a drink
At the bar
Down the street from
Where I used to work
Two strangers met eyes
With the same thing in mind
So the across the room ritual began

Just another Thursday night feeling lonely
By myself in a crowded bar
One of those nights
Everybody’s looking for somebody
So we don’t have to be lonely
Alone anymore

Short conversation shortly
Led to relocation
The rest, as they say
Is in the books

I am just another man
Believe me I didn’t have that planned
But believe me I sure didn’t mind

The best thing that never
Happened for her
So good I could just
Fade away
Too much and too soon
So now that she’s ready
There is no turning back

Climb another mountain
Six inches at a time
Fake another smile and
Orgasmic bliss
Just smile and pretend
She really can feel him
She really can feel anything

So well
Oh well

She fake it better
Than most bring it real

The best thing that never
Happened for her
So good I could just
Fade away
Too much and too soon
So now that she’s ready
There is no turning back

Just save yourself
From her black hole heat
Save yourself
From her evil eyes
You don’t know it
But you’re already gone
You don’t know
But she can’t
Be saved

Twenty three years
And I still hold
This teddy bear every night
But it’s not what I clung to
As a child
To escape my fear of the dark
Or those screams and sobs
Coming from the other room

Days turned into weeks
Turned into months
I’ve been left here
To work things out
On my own
For my own damn good
But I still find
Some comfort in
Sleeping next to just
This tiny part of you
It still brings a smile to my face

8:16 a.m. just doesn’t mean
The same things that it used to
I smile and I turn
Just to find this teddy bear

Who knew stuffed animals
Could come with instruction manuals
So hard to abide
Sometimes I wish I could
Talk myself into
Throwing it in a fire
Or leaving it on your doorstep
With a letter saying exactly
How I feel

8:16 a.m. just doesn’t mean
The same things that it used to
I smile and I turn
Just to find this teddy bear
I know my heart still beats without you
But I’m afraid
That my drummer forgot the beat
That I used to lead my life to
Sometimes maybe just means maybe
And never means always
But sometimes that just isn’t good enough

8:16 a.m. just doesn’t mean
The same things that it used to
I smile and I turn
Just to find this teddy bear

I’ve been putting myself back together
Using masking tape and super glue
Trying to make sure all the pieces fit
The way they did before you

But I didn’t come with an
Instruction manual
So I can’t be certain
I put everything where it belongs

You can’t destroy what is
Already broken
You can’t turn me back around
You can’t destroy me
I’m already broken
But I’m picking myself
Off the ground

Tattered and stained
From industrial adhesive
I can’t remember where that belongs

I think it goes somewhere between
My lungs and my liver
But there are so many pieces
Is that really the shape of my heart?

Now I’m feeling
Withered, shattered, and grey
And I have are these
Thoughts and they plague me
But still they remain
Unlike someone I used to know

I’ve been putting my pieces
Back together
Using masking tape and super glue
I’m trying to make sure things end up the same
As they were before I met you

Wish I came with an instruction manual
To be certain this is where this piece belongs
But the pieces are getting so small
Can’t remember where it goes
I think this is where it belongs

Is this really the shape of my heart?
Is this really the shape of my heart?

She holds the world in her left hand
And in her right, she holds mine
And I feel so privileged
Until she decides
She wants to let go

The world, it spins around
And wobbles it’s way
Around the sun
As it orbit’s a super massive
Black hole
In the center of the galaxy

But sometimes it just
Feels like everything’s standing still
And I’m flying through
Space at damn near the speed of light
To the center of the galaxy
And that super massive black hole
That will collapse me to
Next to nothing

Because she decided to let go

Every time these walls come down,
Mistakes are corrected and lessens learned
So that they may be put back together
Using new technology.

Evolution of building materials
Through the years
Keep the world at bay.

They were made out of sticks
Before I switched to brick,
But this time they will be indestructible.
Forged from industrial grade
Surgical stainless steel.

Impervious to fire!
Your blades will be useless against them
These walls will keep the world at bay

But alas, there is no back door
So whatever lies within these walls
Cannot escape.

Looks like old problems solved,
No one can get through these
new walls I’ve built.
Nothing is getting inside.
Nothing can get though,
And I am better off for it.

Nothing in.
Nothing out.

But I’m starting to feel faint.
Breathing is slowing down.
I feel myself choking.
I am suffocating in
My own safe haven.

Light spills around you like a halo,
Framing the face of the merciful angel of destruction.
Soft as an infants kiss and unforgiving as the road through the Andes.
I feel as though you were sent to destroy me through my own desires.

Soon halo fades to soft glow,
and the timeless beauty of your features leaves me awestruck and speechless.
I could stare at your face forever,
but I must look away to avoid becoming lost
in this moment I’ve fabricated for myself