One day this loneliness will fade
But I don’t know how
I can ever change
I can’t be the only one who
Feels this way
But for now
I only feel the same
As I did at thirteen
Struggling to feel
Like more than a failure

The only thing in my heart
Is this love that overwhelms me
And leaves me so numb
Because the one you love
And the one who loves you
Are never ever the same

At least that is what
I have come to learn
As my soul fills with love
And then burns
Until I no longer recognize
Myself

I look in the mirror
And it’s always someone new
I have to remind myself,
“Brent that’s you
Staring back at you
Through those sad green eyes.”

Sometimes I feel so sad
I can’t even cry
But I feel so bad
I can’t help but think
I’d be better off
If I just didn’t care
How I end up
Or where I go
Or who is there
To make it easier
To go to sleep
But I never dream
Of anything more
Than you and me
And sunsets glistening
Over the waters.

My heart
Sinks to the ground
Every time I come around
To the thought that I
Just might be
Able to be happy.

But I know this is all a lie
I tell myself
So that I can try
To be happy with myself
And no one else
But I can’t make it so.

Until I learn to love
The man in the mirror
Things won’t get any clearer
Than a blind man
Watching basketball.

I can hear the
Bouncing of the ball
On the wood.
I must admit, it sounds pretty good
But I don’t know what the score is
And should it even matter anyhow?

I can’t help but feel the familiar sting
Of my pride taking over
with all the hope it brings
But I know beyond the shadow of a doubt.

That in my next breath I could be gone
To never write another poem
About how my heart’s so numb
And I can’t breathe.

But for now
I’ll just keep putting my fingers to keys
To form thoughts into words
So I have something to leave
That will last much longer than me
And you put together

Until the end
I will soldier on
Until the day comes
That I’ve finally gone
Somewhere where I can
Lay my head and sleep

In peace and comfortable bliss
And if I’m lucky I’ll
Leave behind a few people to miss
These shoulders and sad green eyes

But I’ve never been one
To count on luck
So odds are I’ll end up where I’m stuck
But lately I just don’t give a fuck
About much more than these words

Because I’ve got to leave something behind
To send a message to all of my kind
I just don’t know what I want it to read