It’s a hot Friday afternoon in May
But my hands feel cold, and my heart stops beating
When I see that teddy bear and it reminds me
Of the time we spent two years ago today

We shared a few friends and some laughs
The night before we celebrated twenty-one years
With sweat and beers in downtown Neverland
Taking memories, shots, and photographs all night

But only one of me with you
As it turns out, the perfect metaphor
For all my dreams come true

The sweet wouldn’t taste if it weren’t
For the bitter truth behind the lies
I would have never been down
Had you never brought me up

I can see clearly now
What we shared is not enough

For far too long I have been
Silent all these years
Letting no one get close
At least enough to see my fears
Knowing if they do, they’ll be used against me

My nightmares came true
Right after my dreams
And I’ve been up with cold sweats
The whole month long
Because I just don’t know what to do
With the things I see in my sleep

I just want to call you up
To tell you nothing’s fine
I’m coming apart at the seams
And you’re the only one who
Might can save the boy inside

Seems to me had I talked
With the same fervor I listened
I maybe still would have the spot
One cushion away

All I have now are sweaty palms
And a display on my phone
Of a number I know I’m not going to call
Even though I know it’s your birthday